State of the Squads: Minnesota Lutefisk

The state of my Twins 2016 as I beg (require?) the Gods to allow it to be:*

What is truth? I say it is what we will it to be. It is the hope of our hearts.

Fantasy > Reality.

The Gods began their apology for the theft of Willie Mays from the Minneapolis Millers with the beatific spring training plays of Bryon Buxton in the hallowed area of center field, and continued with breath-taking, game-saving catches on many warm summer eves. They not only added to their repayment with the earth-shocking home runs, but the electrifyingly strong arm of Sano in the protected hemisphere of right field, protected by the equally electrifying foot- efficient Buxton in center and Rosario in left.

The pitching will be anchored by an Indiana (where I was born, BTW) boy who hopes to be an honest teacher when all this is over, Alex Meyer. His tall arching, sinking fastball befuddles all for this one glorious season, whilst the Lakeville Kid routinely preserves his triumphs.

Best of all, is the return of peak Joe Mauer, returning him to the Hall of Fame track which he stumbled off of in the last few years. He is said, at age 16 or 17, to have given his lunch times over to being with a retarded fat girl so that she would not be tormented by those who would fear opposing his then-hot shot athletic self. Instead of stealing his lunch money, he gave it away. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I love that we hope it is true.

*Guest post from the frozen desk of happytwinsfan

4 thoughts on “State of the Squads: Minnesota Lutefisk

  1. “Best of all, is the return of peak Joe Mauer, returning him to the Hall of Fame track which he stumbled off of in the last few years.”

    I love this line the best HTF… proof positive that you either have a great sense of humour, or the Minnesota winters have finally cryogenically frozen your cranium like that of Ted Williams. 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply to nbjays Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s