Can We Just Not?

Can we please just stop with the fucking year long retirement tours?  We haven’t even started the damn season yet.  It’s getting worse and worse ever year.  First it was Mariano.  Then Jeter.  Then Kobe.  Now it’s Ortiz.  Can we please just stop it and move on already?  Look, this player is retiring.  Big friggen whoop!  Does it make him any more special than the thousands of players before him who have retired?  Can’t we just put this shit on hold at least until the final month of the season?

Can we leave the commercials and the horrible poems and the verbal masturbation on the cutting room floor?  Do we need millionaires to be given lavish and often ridiculous gifts by billionaires as a thank you for being really good at throwing a ball?  Do we really need a repeat of the Mariano Rivera All-Star game in which a grand total of zero other players apparently participated in because the cameras wouldn’t stop showing us those exciting scenes of Mariano in the fucking bullpen. Can’t we just have one damn season that’s not a dedicated love letter to whatever player has decided to finally come to the realization that they are no longer the player they once were and have finally collected enough millions to put their great, great, great grandchildren through private education?  Is anyone else as sick of this nonsense as I am?  At what point do we stop stroking the ego’s of the already over-paid, over-worshiped, aggrandized athletes?  At what point do we finally say “Enough”!  It’s time for you to leave quietly like the many great players before you.  It’s time to leave with a little class.


14 thoughts on “Can We Just Not?

  1. As you know I have had several parallel careers. When I retired from each one, I received a gold watch. Four in all. I cashed them all in, pocketed several grand, and bought myself a $25 plastic watch with a cloth wristband at Target that, these many years later, is still running fine.


  2. at least with rivera, he is unobjectionable for the most part. (my personal favorite being he is not a Metallica Fan). he aquainted himself well by lauding staff (and john adams) on his farwell tour.

    jeter, well, he is a legit hall of famer. I have many many objections to his late career, his refusal to help the team and move to third when a superior play came, his staying the the 2 hole (whether by choice or not telling the manager to put him later), and the media slobber sandwich on him. I hated his farewell tour, but he is a legit hall of famer and he never was a dick in public.

    Ortiz? no. I am a big hall guy, and don’t think i will care if he makes it or not on talent. Personally wouldn’t vote for him, but whatever. he is such a complainer, so entitled. and really not better than edgar or frank at his position (or paul, but we tend to forget he had about 40% of his at bats as a DH). Do I really care what he thinks about his last time at the I do not


    1. he aquainted himself well by lauding staff (and john adams) on his farwell tour.

      Yes we need to stop lumping in his with the others. Rivera didn’t want anything, just to spend time with the club house staff at opposing ballparks. The concession workers, the ball boys, the attendants. Those who help make everything run smoothly that never get noticed.

      Teams started giving him gifts because he’s a great person. It’s not Rivera’s fault.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. David Ross pretty much agrees…

    “This isn’t about me. There’s so much good going on around here. I don’t think it ever should be about the backup catcher retiring that’s a career .220 hitter. If it’s about me, we’re in trouble. I feel like I need to prepare myself so I don’t feel like I’m the weak link on this team. I want to be a guy that contributes to this team. I want to have the best year I possibly can to fit in with this group that’s super talented.”

    Of course, Bryzzo feels differently. They have already started their chronicle of Ross’ final season, not for some stupid ego-boosting farewell tour nonsense, but because it’s fun to make fun of the old guy, a.k.a. Grandpa Rossy…a man whose first baseball card was apparently in black and white…


    1. not about nothin, but there was a bailiff in my town that had a cup of coffee witht he phillies, we found a couple of minor league cards of his and bought them for $2 or something and gave it to him.


  4. I think most of the blame lies with the teams who latch onto the retirements as a money making marketing opportunity. At least it’s not as bad as the way the Twins milked Harmon Killebrew’s death. As far as I know Killebrew was a good guy and his passing was a sad event for his family which should be respected, but not used as a means to elevate attendance during a disappointing season.


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