Cactus or Grapefruit?

Planning on travelling to some sunny state for some Spring Training baseball?  You should definitely go to Arizona.  There are many reasons for this…

First, just look at the maps…

This is good.



This is bad.


Just look at how close all the teams are in Arizona.  You could drive from the Royals park to the A’s park in about an hour…which is almost exactly how long it would take for you to fly from the Blue Jays park to the Marlins park in Florida.  You get so much more baseball for your travelling buck in Arizona.

And you can see Kershaw in Arizona.  If you are going to watch any pitcher throw 3 innings…why wouldn’t you pick Kershaw?  On the flip side of that coin, Papelbon in is Florida.  Why would you ever want to be in the same time zone, much less the same state, as Papelbon?

Now, both states have meth problems, so that’s a mark against both.  But Arizona isn’t going to suddenly collapse into the ocean while you are there…and Florida definitely will.


There it is.  Objective, scientific proof that Arizona is the better place to watch Spring Training baseball.  If you’ve been saving up your vacation days, now you know where to spend them.

48 thoughts on “Cactus or Grapefruit?

    1. Yes, dry heat. My oven has dry heat. I don’t sit it in either.

      I spent a week in Las Vegas in June several years ago. I thought, let me walk the strip. I was tired of being cooped up in casinos. Let me see the sights, get some exercise. At noon. In June. I know! By the time I got to the New York Hotel from Treasure Island, my t-shirt was soaked like I had been in a wet t-shirt contest. I’m an idiot. Dry heat my ass. I remember it was so dry, the air scorched my lungs. It was over well over 100 degrees.

      When I landed back in Tampa, I remember taking a deep breath of the humid air. It felt so good coating my lungs.

      The desert sucks. Florida for the win, again.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. one trip to vegas we had taken the bus out to record stores/thrift stores and on the way back the bus over heated, like the transit agency was surrised it was hot or something.

        anyway, never go to the strip. Downtown is where its at


        1. I’d agree on that count. The Strip is fucking awful.

          Last few times, we stayed at Arizona Charlie’s Decatur. Far away from all the endless horseshit that comes with the Strip, only a few exits away from Freemont St., and (relatively) cheap rooms.


  1. In Florida, every team except the Tigers, Braves, and Astros have a beach within 30 minutes of where they play, because you can’t spend all of your time at the ballpark. Plus, we have fresh seafood readily available.


    1. True, you can’t spend all your time at the ballpark…but that doesn’t mean you need to subject yourselves to the horrors of the beach.


        1. I lived in the Mesa Tempe border and went to ASU but I never graduated because I was in the Army and was always getting sent to different parts of the country. In the late eighties they were a liberal campus and it sucks that they are now a joke.


      1. Wow, you really don’t know what you’re missing. I was never much of a beach person until I moved here. Some are so secluded and peaceful, it’s as if you own them

        You can go visit the Kennedy Space Station. That’s always a cool trip.


        1. I know exactly what I’m missing. Sunburns on the back and shoulders so bad that someone is forced sleep in a chair with his head on a table like he would later do in high school, and has to slice a tank top down both sides and drape it over his shoulders if he wants to enter a building because he has the same range of motion in his arms as John McCain. That someone did visit the Space Station. Would have loved to take the tour of the shuttle, but some employee took one look at him and decided that he couldn’t handle the walk through the open sunlight to get to it and took him and his parents to the little nurse’s station there (like that was ever going to do any fucking good).

          Fuck all that.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Wow. You poor melanin challenged soul. We invited SPF 100 for people like you. Seriously, I am sorry you had a terrible experience. Even a cafe au lait person like me has suffered painful sunburns in the Dominican Republic when I thought I was dying. Sunscreen is a must for me too, and wisely going to a without shade beach in the morning and sunset, or using a beach umbrella. Hopefully, you’ll get another chance at the Space Center. It’s a fantastic place for a space enthusiast.

          Also, I mentioned my favorite beach has secluded spots aka– shade, which means trees and bushes. It’s called Fort De Soto. It’s a really gorgeous beach and one of the first places I take visitors to the area. It usually becomes one of their favorite places. I had one friend, visiting from Italy, ask me to take him twice. It’s a state park with trails, and a real old once working fort that you can explore hence the name Fort De Soto. If someone has a dog, there’s even a dog beach. You can camp there overnight. I prefer tents. It gets cool at night. Camping, hiking, fishing, kayaking, biking, swimming. I love this oasis. I haven’t even mentioned the wildlife you can see. Dolphins in the wild. I almost drowned the first time I saw one. I was so awed by its beauty that I was in a trance.

          You can take a boat to Egmont Key, a deserted island that was once inhabited decades ago. Good snorkeling there. It’s a neat island, with a ghost vibe.


        3. …in sheets. Big enough to be used as the sails for one of those tiny little boats they put in bottles.


  2. My sis lives in Phoenix metro. And an old college best friend used to live 2 miles from the Royals in Surprise.

    As for grapefruit the fruit? I peel and eat them like oranges. But, the tunas off prickly pears are tasty too; kind of like white grape jelly.


  3. I don’t think you can drive anywhere in phoenix within an hour in feb/march.

    i think i would have missing out parinoia in AZ. it’s nice to be trapped with one club.

    plus, I don’t need to see kershaw, I would rather see Sean Manaea

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The only time we went to ST (2008 I think?) we got to watch Kershaw pitch in Maryvale right before they brought him up, watched Vlad get a base hit in Tempe,sat on the grass and got served Old Style in cans watching the Cubbies in Hohokam. We had a lot of fun, really liked the AZ ST scene. Planned to drive out this spring but our roof blew off in the last storm. 😦


      1. Sorry, not “literally” but enough of our roof is now our porch and patio to make our neighbours (excuse me, neighbors) to remark, and for us to reconsider discretionary spending. As my son says about paying bills, “It sucks to be an adult”.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. If your favorite team is in AZ, that is the place for you to go.

    If your favorite team in in FL, that is the place for you to go.

    Both states are chock full of bat-shit loonies and run by complete idiots.

    Phoenix (like LA and Vegas) are abominations and environmentally unsustainable disasters, So many wasted resources making uninhabitable places habitable…really, if you don’t have your own water, you should maybe not build a city there.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. There is much to love in Arizona. I love the Navajo country up north. I love the sky islands along the Mexico border; some of the best birding in North America. I love the Colorado river and the National Parks up north, and the Gila in the southeast. I love the Kaibob, and the beauty of Sonora. And the Mexican food is outstanding..

      But you are dead on about Phoenix, Paper. An unsustainable traffic jam built at the bottom of a reflector oven (“Valley of the Sun”, my ass).
      And the people are batshit crazy.

      This is coming from a Texan. Wrap your minds around that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I lived there for 26 years. The town far and rapidly outgrew it’s resources. That being said, the outdoor activities are just incredible, from the Sonoran desert to the Mogollon Rim, to the Painted Desert, to the Gila River wilderness area.
        And yes, the people are most definitely bat-shit crazy.


      2. Exactly.

        The food is great. What is left of the natural beauty is awesomely fantastic. The drive from Flagstaff to Phoenix is breathtakingly beautiful from multiple perspectives….but then you come to the places dominated by people and it is both ugly and unsustainable.

        Liked by 1 person

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