Best Shape in Their Lives?

We bring you the hard hitting news here at Hardball… Fan… Mound… Interference Conversations. Yesterday, Scout reported the finalists in the Sexy Baseball Draft according to the Daily News. This is exactly how I plan to draft my fantasy baseball team, by the way. Good looking players only. Rotoworld has nothing on this info. I haven’t won via the traditional methods, so what the heck? I was curious, and using 2015 fWAR and discounting Dustin Ackley, because he’s not cute enough to make up for negative WAR, that team would average 5.2 fWAR. I’ll take it.

Now I will show you how these baseball players get into such fine shape. Dare I say, the Best Shape in Their Lives?

For @historiophiliac, I bring you Mike Trout, tossing the old tractor tire around just like pa used to do:

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@pdrtrainer is a mad scientist #2016

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A.J. Ramos, impressing Giancarlo Stanton with his glute press and squats:

 

Dee Gordon does traditional push-ups, just like you and me, with chains around his neck:

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@imgacademy @ujbaby

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For @professormaddog31, here’s Bryce Harper doing rows. She’s right. He does kind of look like a potato, crossed with a Cro-Magnon man.

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"You like that" -Kirk Cousins #DCfamily

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Pick up the pace a little, Cano. He does everything slow, huh.

 

Here’s Prince Fielder, trying to destroy his back with a 505 lb deadlift while Andrus cheers for him. Ouch, that rounded back. You’re killing me, Prince.

Here’s Harvey demonstrating better form:

 

History’s Greatest Monster runs on the beach for his exercise (“Running in sand is a great way to disguise how slow you are.” Although, I am perplexed. He appears to be running on sand, not in sand.):

This, of course, immediately came to mind:

 

Finally, the Boys from the D take a much more laid approach to working out:

21 days until Spring Training. 🙂

34 thoughts on “Best Shape in Their Lives?

  1. Your new approach to drafting a fantasy team may be the way to go.

    In college, a lot of guys on our dorm floor created a football pool, just a buck each. My GF started playing and won about 1/2 the time despite knowing nothing about football. Her strategy. Pick the helmet she liked the best. She was an art major and taking design courses and spoke french…which meant picking Atlanta (she loved the design of the falcon) and New Orleans a lot.

    The next year she was horrible in the pool. The reason? She actually learned about football and which teams were supposed to be good or bad and abandoned her helmet uber alles strategy.

    Liked by 3 people

    • That is a very disturbing piece of information, Paper. But it sure goes a long way toward explaining my results in Fantasyball.

      Besides proving that the Existentialists are right. The universe is meaningless.

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      • Not nearly as disturbing as it was to a bunch of 18-20 yr old guys. Getting your ass handed to you by a “girl” that didn’t know anything about football every week and then had no problem taunting you about it could be upsetting. The first time it was labeled a fluke…by the 3rd or 4th time she won, everyone but her was pretty exasperated. Each time she just celebrated and taunted a little more.

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        • Good for her. In the old parlance, nothing succeeds like success.

          And there is something in us that is pleased by the sight of rational norms being overturned.

          As long as it isn’t happening to us.

          Like

    • For two years Bill Simmons included his wife in his weekly picks of teams. For those two years, she kicked his ass and routinely picked based off “color of unis”, “hot QBs”, “whether she hated the city or not”, etc.

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      • My dad used to make me mow the lawn with a manual, rotary mower (no motor). Being an average scrawny nine year old with allergies and a big yard, an hour later I would return to the housed drenched in sweat, light-headed from lack of oxygen, green-tinged snot all over my shirt. My mom would give me a Dristan and Dad would say, “Don’t wait til the middle of the afternoon next week and you won’t get so hot.”

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        • I grew up in NYC. Living in shoebox apartments all my life, I didn’t mow a lawn until I was 26 years old. I found it curiously relaxing. The manual labor, the feeling of accomplishment. I didn’t mind the sweat pouring into my eyes from the Florida heat. Heck, I got a nice tan and toned muscles. What I do mind are the fire ants. I wear my cowboy boots to avoid getting bit by those little red demons. I try to do stripes in the grass like a baseball field. I’m not as good those guys.

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  2. Mike Trout is what happens when you have a guy in the top one percentile of physical ability who is also driven to outwork everybody.

    Trout’s rookie year, the only aspect of his game that wasn’t above average was his throwing arm. The following year, he was markedly improved.

    In 2014, Trout began having trouble with high fastballs and word got around. Last season, pitchers tried going back to it and got smoked.

    This is how you wind up finishing first or second in AL MVP voting your first four years in MLB.

    I’ve seen lots of guys shove those huge tires around, but this is the first time I saw somebody load the thing up with huge dumbbells first.

    Liked by 1 person

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