[Please, you have to actually play the video for this post to reach its full, maximum power. Trust me on this.]
Every day in the offseason, hundreds of bored ballplayers are wasting away to nothing. Some players keep in shape, stay focused and hungry. But for others, it’s too late.
The days and moments usually spent with teammates, getting ready for a game, strength training and conditioning have become endless hours upon hours of trolling twitter, or dressing like a Wookie for a movie premiere.
Hi. I’m Professor MadDog. Will you be an angel for these neglected professional baseball players?
Every day, these guys are waiting for Spring Training and Opening Day, and they are crying out for help. Please, join the comment board at HBC today, and with your generous donation of wit and snark, we will save these poor, sad creatures.
Join us online in the next thirty minutes day or so and you’ll receive this welcome kit with the photo of a bored free agent right now. One has been given a second chance.
Thanks to you. Right now there’s a baseball player who needs you. Your comment says “I’m here to help.”
Join us today. Thank you.
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In other PSA* news — If all goes according to plan, by this time tomorrow I will have enjoyed a snowy western double-feature of The Hateful Eight and The Revenant.
*PSA = Pirated Screener Available
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A piece of advice. For at least 24 hours afterward, stay away from all guns, knives, explosives, blowtorches, and other instruments of mayhem.
Especially samurai swords.
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I make zero promises.
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Too weird, Clayton. I will remember that every time I see you pitch.
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There was a bit of baseball news announced Friday: This year’s lux tax payments due. The Dollars top the list.
http://www.wacotrib.com/ap-newsbreak-dodgers-hit-with-over-m-in-luxury-tax/article_6f7ae982-1ff5-55df-a49f-4c5e055d3346.html
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“The Dodgers spent $67 million more than the next-highest team, the Yankees, a gap $4 million greater than the entire payroll of the Miami Marlins, who ranked last for the second straight season.”
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