How to Be a Tiger

There’s a manual — or there’s going to be one.  Apparently Binder Brad is all about the rules and the right way of doing things (nerd alert!). He and Al Avila are on the same page on this and are working on putting something in writing, spelling out the expectations for proper Tigers behavior.

According to the news story on this from Katie Strang of ESPN, it will cover on-field play, the right way to respect opponents, and general guidelines for “how to be a good teammate and professional.” Strang reports that this doesn’t mean there will be detailed rules against flipping bats or the like — more like broad (probably vague) statements of how to behave.

Apparently, this is a product of Bossy Brad and the coaching staffs’ planning, but the new GM is on board. And, since Avila stated that they wanted to make sure some guys get the message (and in the usual corporate practice this means everyone gets the new rules), feel free to read into it all the unwritten rules/cultural differences baggage rampant in baseball (which is complicated by the fact that Avila is Cuban).

The most telling and interesting excerpt was this bit on reliever Bruce Rondon:

Despite a disappointing season rife with frustration, the Tigers did not have many fissures within the clubhouse or attitude issues. When a problem did arise, such as when reliever Bruce Rondon was sent home packing in the final weeks of the season for pout-pitching in an appearance, it was dealt with swiftly.

Asked about Rondon, whose actions seemed to rankle his teammates, Ausmus said he does not believe that the damage done is irreparable. He believes the talented prospect could earn back the trust with hard work and the right mindset in spring training.

Hopefully, what this means is that the Tigers won’t find themselves in a Papeldouche situation (remember the little pushing incident between Little Sexy Fire and McCannon this season?). You are on notice, gentlemen.  If you act unprofessionally with the Tigers, there will be consequences and repercussions. We’re not having that in this clubhouse (in case you missed that message when we shipped off Mini-Miggy — or you’re one of those rules-arguers who demands to see where the policy says you can’t do something). It’s likely that this move also clarifies that Brad is the Sheriff and he’ll handle player attitudes, so the rest of the team can MYOB. All of which begs the question: if everyone gets along well, why the need for the manual?

15 thoughts on “How to Be a Tiger

    1. Nope! Straight up, no lube, no courtesy angles, no safe words and definitely NO apologies! We gunnah learn him realz good.

      Seriously though, I just love how every team NEEDS to define some petty bullshit manual for their special snowflakes to understand that sophomore year is over. You can’t call everyone a fag, you can’t ask Erin Andrews to show her tits and when she doesn’t, you can’t drop your towel whilst locking eyes.

      You also can’t call the clubhouse manager a dirty little jock sniffer ( right Steve !) while putting said jock on said managers head, (you’ll ALWAYS be an asshole …fucking Steve ) and you can never, EVER tell
      Kalynda that I have a crush on her because she has purple hair and violet colored eyes and she was nice to me that one time, ( I was gonna take her out for dinner at a real restaurant you cheap fuck, not mcfuckingdonalds you traitorous bastard, you didn’t even like her until I told you I did, you fucking penis with eyes ) and you don’t get to decide what invisible rules belong in a bullshit unwritten book!

      That said…..FUCK YOU STEVE!!!!!!!!!

      So……how’s your weekend going?😤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually, I’ve never been a clubhouse manager, I WAS a very good pitcher, I could hit 86-88 when that meant something, ( actually, it never meant a Damn thing…………….but I know something you’re overlooking, I’m a lefty, can you imagine a drug addled Slappy, with my ego, locked in like a boss, taking on a piss-ant little twerp like fucking Steve?

        Yeah, never got the chance as I joined the Army , ( should have joined the Navy or the Air Force, as I might have learned something that would sustain a career. I’m qualified to be a cop, go figure..) and I just make up shit as I go along when I write, but I always had empathy for everyone around me.

        Plus I can let my hatred of all my betters put words in their mouths they wouldn’t EVER SAY until now, when I write the dialogue. Maybe that’s why I am happy having this forum!


      2. When I was younger, every Steve I knew was a giant prick. Now that I’ve grown, all the Steves that I meet are really snarky but nice. What happened to me when I was 22 that Steves became nice? LOL


      3. Funny you should say that, for me it was ALWAYS Dave’s. I’ve never met a Dave I liked in person to this day. When I meet them I automatically assume that they are or Will be pricks in the near future, so I tend to ignore them to the point of being rude.

        What’s wrong with me that makes all Dave’s assholes shortly after meeting me? My step brother is a Dave and I haven’t talked to him in over ten years!


    1. It’s frustrating that they will consider cutting him because of his attitude and effort but not because his performance sucks. :/


      1. I’m convinced that a big part of his suckiness is directly related to his attitude. When somebody or two get on base, he doesn’t seem to have the wherewithal to up his effort. Instead, he seems to start sulking, and lets down even further. But that’s just my opinion.


        1. I think he just doesn’t know how to control his pitches generally. He just hurls it — and people have been so enamored of the velocity, they have cared less that he can’t find the plate. The somebody or two get on base because he walks them.


  1. Here’s hoping everybody acts like a professional. You know, a little hotfoot action in the dugout, lampblack in the cap, hot rub in the jock, etc. Just like the old days when men were men but acted like juvenile delinquents. Oh, and I am NOT named Steve, Dave, nor am I a Brad. Not even a Bruce.

    What Ausmus seems to want to be is Crash Davis, and I’m just wondering does he have an Annie of his own?

    Liked by 1 person

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