The Midnight Snack – Thursday

Troy Tulowitzki

Brush Your Teeth in Tulo’s Old Bathroom!:  Obviously, Troy Tulowitzki’s been forced to take his talents to South Beach Toronto, so his huge Denver-area home is for sale. Seven bedrooms, seven bathrooms, a fountain in the front yard, and a sweet weight room with the Rockies’ logo on the floor.

It’s your average generic rich dude’s McMansion, with a really boring color scheme and a kitchen that I can’t imagine actually cooking in. Personally, I like my home to feel more cozy and warm, but I’m also a snuggly type, so a large, soulless house seems empty to me. Also, if I’m paying that much for a house I better have a lake or a beach or something near me, just sayin’.

But if you like living the luxe life, Tulo’s quaint little cottage can be yours for nearly $6 million dollars.

jason-heywardClear and Present Danger:  OK. So the fact that the Nationals are the mystery team vying for the services of one Jason Heyward isn’t a matter of national security. But it is a serious threat to the NL East.

The Nationals seem to be courting Heyward as a replacement for the aging Jayson Werth. J-Hey isn’t a power hitter, but he is resourceful at the plate and is a perennial Gold Glove candidate in the outfield.

If the Nats sign Heyward, he will have a chance to be a thorn in the Braves’ side for years to come, which I’m sure he would relish despite the fact that he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

23 thoughts on “The Midnight Snack – Thursday

  1. I have a bit of a hard time believing in the Heyward to DC play. I feel like they’ve got more important needs and money to allocate than on a (probably) a corner outfield spot.
    As for Tulo’s place, it seems wealthy athletes in particular have no idea what to do with building/buying a house. Give me the suddenly rich special with travertine everything and 30 more rooms than I’ll ever use. I’ll namethis model the milquetoast mansion

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      1. I appreciate that “hands in the pants” employs a shift now, and isn’t tied to 3B (but can range freely inside the orgasm line).

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      2. I kinda think he’s assuming a right-handed hitter, since all the “best” stuff is to the pull side.

        heh…”pull side”.

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    1. There are two interesting things about this particular tweet.

      1) Taking less to come to Wrigley? Me likey.
      2) This is the first time since Hendry was the Cubs GM that Gordo has gotten something right. (Just a month or so ago, he was saying that Castro had been told by the front office that he wouldn’t be traded. That’s when I knew he was gone.)

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