Will There Be Designatedhitterball in Karellan’s Golden Age?

They’ve taken a break from rumor mongering in Nashville to concentrate on gluttony and debauchery. And why not? These are rich people, and what’s the good of entitlement if you can’t overindulge?

Eh?

Eh?

Into this crass colloid of slave marketing and burping, The Weather Channel suddenly intruded a trailer for next week’s premier of the SyFy channel’s three part production of their film of Arthur C. Clarke’s immortal (literally) 1953 novel Childhood’s End, about a race of all-powerful aliens who bring utopia to Earth. This was one of my first great reading experiences as an adolescent and it gave me nightmares for years – occasionally, my unconscious still belches bubbles of fantasy about it through the swamp bottom of my sleeping brain. I have been so obsessively horrified by the impending “remake” of Forbidden Planet that I guess I never saw this one coming. Maybe I repressed it until this evening’s trailer administered a slap to my diversionary impulses and forced me to gaze upon it. I tried to make a joke out of it, like Kurt Vonnegut Jr. addressing the graduating class at Cornell University snarking “but it is doubtful that any such exalted destiny awaits the likes of you.” I could hear Indiana Jones screaming from my Id “Don’t look at it Gator! Close your eyes! Don’t look at it!” But it was no use. I looked anyway, and melted down like a knuckledragger at a Trump rally.

This was a story that I always prayed would be tackled by a Kubrick or a Kurosawa or maybe at least someone like Peter Greenaway or Jean-Pierre Jeunet or, Buddha help us, Alejandro Jodorowski. I mostly associate the SyFy channel with, oh, the Feesh front orifice when in pennypinching mode, makers of cheapo films with terrible special effects and even worse dialogue. They’ll give you a bluescreened rhinoceros iguana and call it a Carnotaurus, or, worse, they’ll give you a Steller’s sea cow and call it an elasmosaur. Pheh.

But it’s coming, no matter what we do – as the divine Margo sings in “Bea’s Song,” you can always see it coming but you can never stop it. So the thing to do, I guess, is to accept it and question it. If the premise of the story is that we’re going to have Utopia bestowed upon us without being eaten (as in, say, the Twilight Zone classic To Serve Man), the pressing inquisition would be, is there really any further need for designatedhitterball? Utopia, one would expect, would be pretty boring as it is. Do we really need a game that would bore us even further?

Sobering questions, even for those of us without Karellan’s problems with his wardrobe.

Ack. I am not dealing well with this.

10 thoughts on “Will There Be Designatedhitterball in Karellan’s Golden Age?

  1. I am under the impression that this filmed adaptation of “Childhood’s End” is actually a BBC production whose rights for US airings were purchased by Syfy.

    Do not fret, mon frere.

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  2. Well, it should end on a positive note, anyway. Giant Satans from outer space come and take our children away. Just like the Republicans told us would happen.

    And they will remake “Forbidden Planet” when they pry the last copy of the original from my cold, dead fingers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure they are out there. I have been afraid to check them out because I figured the FBI or NSA would check me out.

      Ha! Like they’re not anyway. The illusion or privacy.

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      1. They’d check out the films I’ve downloaded recently – Lawrence of Arabia, The Four Feathers, Khartoum, Lion of the Desert, The Greatest Story Ever Told – and assume I’d been radicalized. Shit, you radicalize yourself every time you take your morning shot of unfiltered apple cider vinegar.

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      2. Jeez, what a great set of movies, OG. The wife has been after me to get LoA again, and I always liked Khartoum. They only really scraped the surface of what an interesting guy Chinese Gordon was.

        Hey, if they have DVD players in Guantanamo, you have the right set of movies.

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