Fan Interference

THE FIVE HORSEMEN OF THE CUBPOCALYPSE.

I watched as Theo opened the first of five seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a Gold Glove, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on redemption.

When Theo opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given home run power to take peace from Cardinals fans and make writers turn against each other. To him was given a huge bat.

When Theo opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and lo, there was a black horse! Its rider was noble and true; and I heard his voice, saying “I want to change the culture in Chicago. I believe we can.”

When Theo opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and before me was a pale horse! Its rider was a young rookie, and Hell followed close behind him. They were given the power to slay and turn double plays at the hot corner.

When Theo opened the fifth seal, I saw the souls of those who had died believing in the young bears of Chicago, and the testimony the had maintained. They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Theo and Joe, holy and true, until you avenge us?” Then each of them were given a pinstriped jersey and told to go in peace, because someday is sooner than we think.

–From The Revelation of St. Ron Santo

I know there was other baseball tonight, but I don’t want to talk about it. I want to bask in this glory for as long as I possibly can.

Someday we’ll go all the way? Why can’t someday be NOW?

Need more proof the end times are nigh?:  Chipper Jones is rooting for the Mets. Yes. Larry Wayne Jones, the man who trolls Mets fans so hard he named his son Shea, is pulling for New York to win it all. What sort of bizzaro world are we living in?