Jose Fernandez Does Not Play The Right Way*

mlbf_512663583_th_43Last night in Tampa Bay, there are reports that a pitcher by the name of Jose Fernandez sent a fastball down the middle of the plate. Said pitch was promptly hit by the batter, Evan Longoria, approximately 400 feet for a home run. The pitcher shocked the baseball world by not plunking the next batter, plunking any batters, or choking anyone. I know, right? Instead, he joked with the batter that hit the home run. There is video evidence that there is fun in baseball. What is this world coming to? Somewhere, Bud Norris and Jonathan Papelbon had aneurysms.

Someone needs to talk to Fernandez and Longoria. This is not the right way to play.

*Headline credit to scout. I shamefully ripped him off.

12 thoughts on “Jose Fernandez Does Not Play The Right Way*

    1. Sorry I took so long to get back here – I got embroiled in a daylong brouhaha (Brouhaha? Hahahahahah….) with some marginally psychotic teabagger on the HBT thread about A-Roid and redemption. Something about teabaggers just brings out the pitcarnotaurus in me (I’ve always related equally well to attack dogs and basal theropods). Thing is, these idiots are so hilariously invested in their neuroses that they can’t see how much fun I’m having. I’ll be your kitten. You be my string ball.

      Anyway, yeah, El Keed has been wonderfully resistant to “la manera correcta de jugar al juego.” Anyone recall a couple years back when he hit his first ever home run and just stood there and watched it out of sheer disbelief that he’d done it, and Brian McCann, and asshole of such regal radial circumference that he was destined to play in the Bronx, and Chris Johnson, who went postal for some reason too, got in his face for whatever it was they got in his face for (being unable to get a bat on any of his pitches coming foremost to mind).

      So – despite what looks on paper like a fine return half-season after TJS, El Keed really wasn’t quite his old (or perhaps “former” is better) self, but he was topping 100 two days ago so an orfseason’s rest should have visions of sugarplums dancing in Scott Boras’ head by next trade deadline.

      Come to think of it, what is a nice guy like El Keed doing with that ambulatory vampire bat anyway?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Chris Johnson – a guy so rounded hated by the Braves Fam that people were excited to get AJ Pierzynski on the team just on the off chance he’d snap and make like Papelbon to Harper on the guy.

        Braves twitter was ecstatic when CJ got traded. I can’t think of a single person who actually liked him.


  1. Anyone else having trouble watching vids on It’ll play like seconds, then move on to the next vid. It’s been doing it intermittently for over a week.


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