The Battle of the Beards: The Dodgers are NL West champions for the third straight year, coming off a masterful performance by Clayton Kershaw and his weird Amish beard.
Kersh gets a complete game shutout and strikes out 13. Most importantly, he finally got a win against his mortal enemy and mine, Madison Bumgarner (and his weird mountain man beard). I particularly love it because the narrative on social media this afternoon was “Kershaw has never won against MadBum! He always chokes in big game situations!” Well, he’s won now and this was a pretty big game so…
#FireEmoji, part two: Like I mentioned yesterday, the Cubs are so on fire right now that even guys who normally stink up the place are putting in fantastic performances. Today, we were treated to an impressive outing by none other than Dan Haren. I know, right? Dude went seven and a third innings. No matter what happens with the Cubs this year, this has been a fun team to watch.
Nothing Fishy About It: Mike Trout’s kinda good at baseball, you guys.
This puts him in the company of such luminaries as Mel Ott and Ted Williams. You know, just some average joes.
Fan Interference 
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It just occurred to me that my GM from last year and my manager from last year and my ace from last year are all going to the play-offs. Sigh.
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And your best player from last year, that guy Magilla, or Gorilla, or something like that.
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Oh yeah. Forgot about Zobrist. Now I’m gonna cry. Thanks.
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But you still have Hustle McDreamy!
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I would much, much rather go to the play-offs than have the dreamiest ballplayer. It’s not even close.
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It’s hard to watch him bat. I get lost in those eyes! If Papelbon ever lays a finger on him, every female in the Tampa Bay region between 12 and 50 will attempt to castrate him (a lot of men too. Dude’s a stud).
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The dog is cute. And he has pretty eyes. He can go head to head against Kris Bryant for most photogenic.
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I don’t want you to cry. If I told you Kim Davis had a 15 minute meeting with the Pope, where he praised her bravery, would that make you feel better?
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It makes me drop four letter words. So much for being the “cool Pope.”
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Well, how bout this: Water was discovered on Mars. Since Mars cooled much faster than Earth did, and cosmic collisions were frequent a billion years ago, there’s a semi reasonable chance that life began there, and was transported to this planet on the backs of asteroids.
We’re all Martians!!!
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Somehow I think that’s bunk. Dunno, just a feeling I have.
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The same lawyers are the ones who claimed that there was a huge rally in South America for her, too, aren’t they?
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Professor, you’re showing your stubborness. That’s typical of Martians though. 🙂
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Badhair, I read that. Fox does the same garbage. If HD was never invented, we’d be getting footage of the LA riots and they’d be photoshopping in a “Black Lives Matter” protester somewhere.
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Oh no. Esquire is saying they confirmed it! Nooooooo.
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Boooooo!!!!!
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Any interplanetary journey on a rock would be tough for any kind of life we know of to survive.
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Lions, meet your distant relative, the Water Bear (or Tardigrades). The females laid eggs and “hatchlings” were born healthy, while exposed to the elements (non-elements?) of space. They are actually pretty large, at over 1 mm. Freeze em, boil em, send them to space and back, and they remain helathy. I read about an amoeba or bacteria that survived being frozen for hundreds, or perhaps thousands of years. I looking for it now, but in the meantime, this is an interesting and quick read.
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20150313-the-toughest-animals-on-earth
“Boil them, deep-freeze them, crush them, dry them out or blast them into space: tardigrades will survive it all and come back for more”
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So, it’s Cher and the tardigrades (not roaches) that will survive a nuclear holocaust? I will adjust my rhetoric accordingly.
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Ah, it was a virus. That was faster than I though it would be. A virus was frozen for 30,000 years, and came back to life. To the pope and Kim Davis, Earth was still a twinkle in God’s eye. Perhaps that’s what they met about.
http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-26387276
Tests would certainly have to be done, but I don’t think we can just say that a simple life form couldn’t survive a trip through space. Earth’s atmosphere was pretty nonexistant billion years ago, so entry through that atmosphere would be easy…if a lifeform could survive a massive explosion hurdling it in to space. The jettisoning into space seems far more difficult to survive that the trip over here.
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“Cher and the tardigrades”.
Was that her first band?
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Don’t call Sonny names when he isn’t here to defend himself.
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Oh, shoot. I didn’t mean to click like on my own comment! Godnabbit. Stupid phone! How does one undo that?
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I did that once too. I wanted to see who liked a comment, so I meant to hit “by 1 person”, but accidentally hit the star button, liking my own comment. I hoped no one would see it.
Funny fact: I almost always gave myself a thumbs down at HBT. I don’t know why.
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Don’t panic. You just hit it again and it removes the like. Stay calm and don’t like on.
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I tried that on my phone and it wouldn’t take. It worked on the iPad. Phew!
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Irish people. You’re so excitable.
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