The world has been waiting to find out if we’d have a new Handsomest Manager in Baseball next season, thanks to the departure of current Hunkiest Manager Alive, Brad Ausmus. Well, all y’all can eat worms and die, cuz your manager has no chance. Brad is returning for a threepeat.
Making his announcement today, GM Al Avila cited a number of considerations in reaching their decision:
- The youngsters do appear to be improving under him, and the veterans respect Señor Brad. Beauty has leadership skills.
- Many of the issues this year lay in the injuries that beset the team — more than poor management. Without so many of the starters a good part of the season, the team just didn’t have a chance to play to its best potential. You can’t lay that blame on the pretty.
- The team had a great April and went 12-11 in September, even with injuries to multiple pitchers. The team can still win — especially with the team on the field.
- He’s the dreamiest. No, sorry, that’s “he has talent.” But really, just read: dreamy.
No word on whether the Tigers plan to give him a DECENT EFFING BULLPEN TO WORK WITH next year. If not, prepare for more losing — but we’ll sure look good doing it.
(Take that, Cards! Losers again.)