The Return of Ausomeness

The world has beenFeatured image waiting to find out if we’d have a new Handsomest Manager in Baseball next season, thanks to the departure of current Hunkiest Manager Alive, Brad Ausmus.  Well, all y’all can eat worms and die, cuz your manager has no chance.  Brad is returning for a threepeat.

Making his announcement today, GM Al Avila cited a number of considerations in reaching their decision:

  1. The youngsters do appear to be improving under him, and the veterans respect Señor Brad. Beauty has leadership skills.
  2. Many of the issues this year lay in the injuries that beset the team — more than poor management.  Without so many of the starters a good part of the season, the team just didn’t have a chance to play to its best potential.  You can’t lay that blame on the pretty.
  3. The team had a great April and went 12-11 in September, even with injuries to multiple pitchers. The team can still win — especially with the team on the field.
  4. He’s the dreamiest. No, sorry, that’s “he has talent.” But really, just read: dreamy.

No word on whether the Tigers plan to give him a DECENT EFFING BULLPEN TO WORK WITH next year. If not, prepare for more losing — but we’ll sure look good doing it.

(Take that, Cards! Losers again.)

16 thoughts on “The Return of Ausomeness

  1. So he’s gone from Beautiful Brad to Butthead Brad and back to Beautiful Brad again? And you wonder why we men say you women are fickle and hard to please. Jeez, Louise!

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    1. Women will tell us exactly what to do to please them and exactly what they want….as soon as they figure those things out themselves.

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        1. I’ve played this game before. You get directions, and by the time you get to OK….oh, sorry, I moved to Seattle….so you make your way to Seattle….and, oh, sorry, now I am in TX….so you start the long trek down there.

          Yeah, the directions NEVER change….EVER!

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        2. C’mon…I thought that was a good metaphor for changing what one wants.

          It was that…or saying that he did say, “Eat me.” those do seem like pretty clear directions.

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        3. I wasn’t trying to be mean.

          Sometimes, you don’t know what you want until you find it….no way to know if it is what you wanted or needed without trying….and that isn’t limited, of course, to just women or to just you….happens to everyone…whether they admit it or not.

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        4. You don’t have to apologize. Geez. It’s just I’m not going to Texas because I want to live in Texas. I know you were joking.

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