The Midnight Snack – Friday

Warning – tonight, this gif encapsulates the tone of this post –

loki h8r

No Amount of Snark Will Beat Real Life:  I know the Natinals actually won their game, but it’s still a big shitstorm down in D.C. This collection of fail will make you feel better about your team, guaranteed. Unless, of course, your team is the Natinals.


Meet the Matz: The Mets’ rotation is unfair. You can’t swing a cat near that pitching staff without hitting an ace. Even their fourth or fifth starter is better than almost anyone on, say, my beloved Atlanta Braves. Tonight, Steven Matz came out and did his thing. The victims were the New York Yankees. One run in six innings – I think that’s all right, don’t you?

When Good Things Happen to Good People:  If I told you this morning that a match-up between Rubby De La Rosa and Madison Bumgarner would end up with the gritty D’Backs winning, you would have laughed in my face and said I was insane. Well, friends, I’m not and they did, and I believe the correct term is schadenfreude.

actual photo of yours truly.
actual photo of yours truly.

22 thoughts on “The Midnight Snack – Friday

  1. There is no way that was a worse mess than the Tigers-Royals, which I would explain if I could do so in English. Currently, it is only available in Swears.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, we ended with the same score but it took us 2 more innings to get there. Verlander went deeper than Scherzer, but our game was similarly Papelblown in the 9th. $#&*(&$#$@!!!!


      2. But did Verlander curse out Brad and then snub him in the dugout?

        I feel bad for you – y’all really shouldn’t stink as badly as you do.


      3. Well, he certainly wasn’t happy with Brad when he pulled him with one out to go in the 9th and up by 2. Neither was the crowd — who booed Brad very
        loudly and gave Verlander a standing ovation. I don’t remember seeing Verlander in the mix of the walkoff celebration later.


      4. Oooh, per video on MLB, Verlander went out and gestured at the fans booing Brad, so maybe it’s team v fans now. No bueno. They didn’t show that on the game broadcast.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. No one is going to convince anyone that Matt Williams should stay. Matt is on his way back to sweet home Arizona where you have to hang your shoes on the wall to keep the scorpions from getting into them, the legs have been sawn orf the water table and the horned toads are disappearing so you can’t even walk around barefoot.

    And since it’s now past 11AM EDT and we still don’t have an “In case you Missed It” and I have things to do today before Diane Ward and Jack Shawde take the stage at the world famous Luna Star Cafe in North Macondo tonight – I just thought I’d post the link since they just redesigned their site, much like a certain baseball and designatedhitterball site we used to know, and it’s also fucked up at the moment, but will be straightened out because they don’t got no pencilnecked suits to answer to), I’m just gonna re-post in modified deshabilitada my slightly earlier disquisition from los ruinas circular of HBT and head out to Winn-Dixie where baked salmon is on sale. Anyway, watching my beloved El Keed melt down the way he did in the sixth inning of last night’s fiasco against the Gnats (a “meltdown” of El Keed consists of allowing a single run – maybe the term is too severe; shall we just say that he scrammed?), wherein the hero of the Granma II incident plated an enemy run with two wild peetches, I was moved upon returning from the world famous Luna Star Cafe in North Macondo to get some procrastinated cookart done last night. Oddly enough, a lot of people I never met in my life came over to me and asked if they didn’t know me from somewhere. I must have a lot of archetypal features.

    As the Feesh left the battlefield, Gnats players could be seen on their knees, pressing their ears to the ground to see if they could hear the rumble of the Mutts on the tracks ahead of them, and looking disappointed to realize that the whoosh hadn’t blueshifted even a little bit. Speaking of procrastination, I know some of those guys haven’t taken out their bamboo trout rods or upended their waders to shake out the scorpions yet, but it’s kinda about time they did. Their E number is eight with 15 games left. Even the Mutts couldn’t collapse so completely that Sky Daddy would answer the Gnats’ prayers.


    Well, anyway, here’s what I did: I whupped up a batch of spicy bocadito (“little mouth” – suits me, right?) spread using leftover spiral sliced ham and other cardiocongestive ingredients and this morning, after letting it stand in the freedge, made meself one helluva omelet. Here’s how:

    Bocadito al Moncada:

    1 pkg. (8 oz.) lowfat cream cheese, softened in the microwave
    1 tbsp. heavy cream
    1/2 cup lowfat mayonnaise
    About 12 oz. ham.
    1/3 cup sweet pickle relish
    1/3 cup finely chopped pimientos
    1/2 jalapeno, cored (or a few hefty shots of Tabasco sauce) and finely diced.
    salt and ground black pepper

    Omelet basics:

    Four to five eggs or up to seven egg whites.
    1/3 cup finely shredded cheese (Mexican four cheese blends work really well)
    1/4 cup lowfat or nonfat half and half
    1 teaspoon turmeric
    1/2 tsp each dried basil, oregano and thyme
    dash of salt, dash of pepper
    1/2 plum tomato, diced

    Blend cream cheese, cream, mayonnaise, salt, pepper, relish, jalapeno and pimento.

    Run the ham through a meatgrinder (or food processor, if the dignity of labor means nothing to you). Thoroughly blend into the cream cheese mixture until smooth and creamy. Let stand in the fridge overnight to let the flavors accommodate themselves.

    Whup together all ingredients a excepion de the tomatoes. Pour into an omelet pan and cover until done. Spread on side of the omelet with the bocadito, sprinkle the diced tomatoes over it, fold the omelet and let sit for a minute or so.

    Gooooood morning!


    1. That’s not even the best one. Matt Williams made a mound visit and Max wasn’t having it. He had himself a hell of a fit. I couldn’t find a good vine of it last night, but the actual gif was all over twitter.

      Things are really, really not good down there.


      1. The thing is that I understand why Williams went there in the first place – you’re tied up, Max’s pitch count is getting higher, you want to make sure you can get the out – but on that team, with that guy? I’d dance with the one who brought me, and that would be Max Scherzer. I mean, do you really trust the bullpen enough? REALLY?

        It’s also amazing to see how far Max has fallen off after the All Star Break. Not that he sucks now, but I think you know what I’m trying to say.


    1. Really? I fucking hate it when I post replies on a formally working website, and the fucking fuckers ALWAYS make it go to the newest post!

      I was trying to get JWBIII over here because he/she is a research madperson, even when you don’t need to know, but you kinda do, but don’t want to put in the effort, JWBIII gives you the fucking answer!

      He/she needs to be a mod over here, but the fucking fuckers ALWAYS fuck up the fucking reply whenever I fucking post. So HBT is DEAD to me.
      Fucking done! Fuck that place with a fucking fuckstick! It’s beyond repair and apparently Calcaterra gives zero fucks about comments or commenters. Fuck him too! I’m all in here and I will only read the ( dripping with fucking irony) rebloggers posts.

      Seriously though, someone who isn’t having the same problem as I should get JWBIII over here. He/she will be a far better poster than I will ever be able to be, besides, he/she is way fucking better than that site deserves. Fucking done with the shysterball. Fucking done with Calcaterra too.

      Anyway, other than that, I am pretty good mentally. I also feel much better typing all kinds of fucks. I feel like Oprah….

      You get a fuck, and you get a fuck, and look under your seeeeeeeeats, you ALL get a fuck. Cheers

      Liked by 1 person

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